make that “100 percent not interested”. she feels nothing for you. none. zero. zilch. she never did, and she never will. these are five foolproof ways that a girl may be using to tell you to back off and leave her alone.
5. she avoids your gaze and hardly makes eye contact. she’s happier looking down and around, at her food, at the surroundings, in fact anywhere else but you.
4. she does not appear to be interested in the things you say. she lets you do all the talking. her replies are simply “yes”, “no”, or more frequently, “uh-huh”.
3. she ignores your calls and messages.
2. she makes sure you are aware that she is seeing other guys.
and the number one sign…
she tells you straight to your face that she’s not interested in you, and backs it up with facts and reasons, letting you know exactly where you fall short (because you asked).
jesus! what more can a girl do?
okay i’m aware that i’m probably sounding a little bitchy right now. but frankly, the only thing that’s more annoying than a guy that wouldn’t stop going after a girl who’s clearly not interested, is a guy who wrongly assumes that she is.
read the signs. quit finding other reasons for her behavior. please.
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does, ” I got a headache” count ? View all comments by jupilier
*laughs and nod in agreement* lol. I can totally relate to sign number 2. haha. sometimes i just hope that guys can be a little smarter. opps. View all comments by Huimei
jupilier: It probably does. That’s always a good excuse isn’t it?
Huimei: Maybe that’s the reason why we’re not interested in the first place! Oops! *hides from the lightning strike*
My blog entry is actually targeted at a few specific people I know. *hides from lightning again* View all comments by Veron
hey there I was just wondering if you do blogskins, I really love your website–the colour scheme, theme & dreamy feel. It’s everything basically. Haha, would you do the same for a blogskin?
please reply, thanks! (: View all comments by foldedhearts
polite call:
Hey! I hope you gals have nothing against guys, why not do a post like “5 things Singapore gals like about local guys”? You know, just to boost the morale of Sg guys to set them going. View all comments by lostin
Hah! I could sense that the post was meant to target at someone. lol. As bad as I might seems to be (I’m not that evil), I think it would be rather hard to come up with the “5 things Singapore gals like about local guys”.
I do know of some really nice guys. But ask me what’s so great about them? I couldn’t figure out either. View all comments by Huimei
I shall reserve my comments for now. But anyway, would someone comply with his request please? View all comments by Veron
Allow me to defend the guys.
There are some gals who like guys that keep trying and never gives up. That why you see some guys who never gives up even ganna rejected again and again. Because we don’t know if you are that type or not. View all comments by DK
I think point number 1 is enough.
Just ask the guy to stop wasting everyone’s time and move on with life.
This kind of pestering pestering very irritating! View all comments by chillycraps
Hehe forgive my kind. Most of us tend to be boneheaded when it comes to your species. It’s the hormones I tell you. Damn the hormones! :P View all comments by mervkwok
oooh yes its the hormones.
*shakes head* View all comments by Jin Xian
i tnk no. 5 may not be that accurate?
Cos sometimes if a person secretly likes someone especially for a more inhibited and reserved person (for some guys too), she/he tend to avoid eye contact with him/her. But if he/she(the person being liked) looks away, then she/he(the person liking) would steal glances at him/her. View all comments by lyz
DK: I think for the persistence to pay off, there has to be at least a minute amount of interest on the girl’s part to start with in the first place!
Like I said, the girl feels absolutely nothing for the guy. There’s no attraction there. She doesn’t feel the spark. Persistence is simply a waste of time and effort on both parties.
Just my two cents.
chillycraps: Absolutely! But some guys may think that when the girls ask them to give up, it’s secret code for “try harder”.
mervkwok & Jin Xian: Hormones! So is there any real feeling at all?
lyz: That sounds cute! Perhaps I should make it clearer then.
5. she avoids your gaze and hardly makes eye contact. nor would you catch her stealing furtive glances at you. really, she’s happier looking down and around, at her food, at the surroundings, in fact anywhere else but you. View all comments by Veron
i promised i would refrain from commenting… i tried i really did :)
Seriously guys, get a hint. There really is no excuse. How can she respect you if youre not even wiling to look hard enough to see what shes really telling you?
Its not that hard, you just have to actually pay attention, and wow, things will start to make sense. Im not flaming anyone, but seriously, boneheaded? hormones? are these actually legitimate reasons for not getting a clue, when she says she not interested, to your face? lol :)
Please let the modern man evolve :) for the sake of us all hahaha View all comments by zaijian
Well apparently it proves a challenge. That’s why I’m making it simpler by writing out explicitly these 5 things that I’m doing. I bet the guys would start looking out for these signs from now on *lol* View all comments by Veron
my bet would be the guys would think that you are referring to someone else…:p View all comments by tyc76
…and you are absolutely right. How did you guess? View all comments by Veron
There are lines guys use that gals don’t seem to get either. I know of some:
1. You are such a beautiful girl, I am sure many other guys would like to go out with you.
2. You are lovely and there’s nothing wrong with you. I am just not the marrying kind.
3. I am a very detached person. I love my freedom.
4. Your horoscope says you will meet a handsome guy after valentine’s day.
5. I am going drinking with my mates in the pub. Chelsea playing tonite! View all comments by jupilier
hahaha very interesting post. Though it’s short, but very straight to the point (erh, or in “his” face) :D
I think sometimes we can’t completely blame the guys, for they can be really confused by girls and wonder if she is just playing hard to get or she really isn’t interested or she’s just in a bad mood that day.
So girls, we need to do a reality check too. If you’re playing hard to get, then you should know where to draw the line.
As for the guys, yes you should also learn how to read a girl’s body language better, because that’s usually the one that tells you most, and most accurate too.
Lastly Veron, posting this is surely a good way to let “him” know your intention haha View all comments by Dating Specialist
jupilier: Haha very informative! Interestingly I myself have used point #5 many times before *lol*
Dating Specialist: Haha you’re the girl to look for at times like this :)
Aiya, even if the guy had suspected that the girl was playing hard to get, my point #1 should suffice to throw that suspicion out the window already.
I thought that this post would send a clear message to him. but as what tyc76 said, he simply thought I was referring to someone else! View all comments by Veron
haha… annoying guy hitting on you?
Well… time to hit back… the water splashing treatment would get top response… and fast too!!! especially when it happens all the time… hehe
of course… if he’s that much of a bonehead… he still may not get the idea… then it time to bring out the male ego.. let some OTHER guy handle him!
Once the rough action starts.. the message would get across… eventually… hehe
^)> View all comments by birdface
I know persistence is a waste of time if the gal has not even slight interest in the guy at all.
But from a guy’s point of view, you never know until you try. View all comments by DK
but there again, to some, it is the chase that is the best part! :) View all comments by jupilier
i wonder if thats how stalkers justify what they do? :) View all comments by chocoholic_in_rehab
what if the girl really liked the guy before and now when the guy chases her she shows these 5 signs? View all comments by ry
haha.. very interesting post.
Seems like alot of guys miss the point when pursuing a girl. Now, before i start, i’m no casanova or Fabio or pick-up artist..
It’s human nature that people like a challenge. Things which are too easy to get aren’t worth the effot. If the guy is acting all lovey-dovey, wussy or just plain smoothering the girl with affection, she’ll run off in the other direction. The law of Attracion says that we eventually receive what we think most about. Attraction is not logical, its an emotional response. Just like people go on spending sprees, they spend on impulse (emotion) but justify it with logic (which always loses out to emotion).
Anyway, the tip to all guys is to create the attraction in the first place.. abit of subtle mystery…
-If she’s curious to find out more, she’s thinking.. when she’s thinking, it increases the attraction.
Remember: ” We attract the things which we think most about” View all comments by Edmund
Well said Edmund. The Law of Attraction is powerful. One of my postings:
http://jupilier.blogspot.com/2006/12/secret-behind-secret.html
talks about applying the Law of attraction. That is, the secret behind the secret. ;) View all comments by jupilier
“We attract the things which we think most about”
Shouldn’t it be “We are attracted to the things we think most about”?
Anyway about pursuing a girl, when the girl tells the guy to stop doing it, he should just listen. Otherwise it’s bordering on harassment. View all comments by Veron
Veron
The guy will then think of ‘it’ more, ie. the girl he is supposed to stop bothering. Hence making him more determined. Haven’t we heard that forbidden fruit is sweet? ;) View all comments by jupilier
Now, that’s just selfish don’t you think? View all comments by Veron
Hi Veron
yep, it works both ways.. “We are attracted to the things we think most about” and also “We attract the things which we think most about”.
The latter is gleaned from the movie “The Secret”
(thanks Jupilier for the link, it was profound & certainly gave me much more clarity)
It goes along the lines of ’cause and effect’ and how the universe responds to those who “ask” and you shall be given a “reply”..
Ed :) View all comments by Edmund
Hey, have you seen this website before? The layout looks a lot like yours.
http://www.justjasmine.net/ View all comments by Anon.
veron
you think about these persistent boys so much that you even write a post about them. hmmm, i think you are attracting them to come back for more… ;) View all comments by jupilier
Okay, this entry was written out of pure annoyance and frustration due to annoying creeps and stalkers that are haunting me nonstop. In all fairness it is pretty hard not to think about them when they keep positioning themselves somewhere near you, or bombarding you with calls and messages. “We are attracted to the things we think most about” therefore does not apply here. I do not willingly think about them. Rather, they force themselves into my line of sight, the way stalkers do.
I can’t stress this enough. But I can’t believe anyone would still wanna argue after point #1:
“she tells you straight to your face that she’s not interested in you, and backs it up with facts and reasons, letting you know exactly where you fall short (because you asked).”
Would I ever be attracted to a stalker? No.
Would you ever be? I hope not.
Case closed. View all comments by Veron
Veron
I think you may have missed the point of what I was trying to say. Try watching THE SECRET. There are snippets on Youtube.
It short, it says that we will get what we think of. So, even you are not attracted to them stalkers, the fact that you detest them meant that you are thinking of them a wee bit too much.
Hence ‘attracting’ them to pursue you.
Conversely, if u dont think abt them, they will fade away. dont give them the power of ur thoughts. View all comments by jupilier
Lol! Nice one.. Are they really frank about Sign 1 ?
Manas View all comments by Manas
Hey jupilier,
I ain’t gonna waste time watching any Youtube clip when I’m pretty clear about my point already. The last thing I need is for someone else whom I have never met before tell me what he thinks I am thinking/feeling. I think the one person in the world who would be clearest about that would be yours truly, thank you very much.
I tend to think that you’ve missed my point, as well as the point of this blog entry completely. If you know what stalkers are like, you probably wouldn’t be making senseless remarks like the ones you did. It’s a mental torture to have stalkers, you know? Say you have loan sharks hounding you, I bet you would be thinking of them “a wee bit too much” as well. Would you bear any attraction towards them? Maybe, if you are really, really, really sad and lonely.
I have filed police reports against such people before (stalkers, not loan sharks). That’s the extent of how much these sick people bother me. You obviously have no idea.
For now I would like to hear comments from other people, please. View all comments by Veron
G’day Veron
it’s unfortunate that we live in the information age today and people can find out almost anything about anyone online. Most times, that power is used to great effect (eradicating poverty, petitions, creation awareness and actions), but conversely you have experienced the negative side of it as well.
In the small rock that is Singapore, we have hardly any world-wide claim to fame (banning chewing-gum and hanging/caning foreigners doesn’t count). I guess blogging and being a demi-celebrity attracts all facets of society. The price of fame? View all comments by Edmund
well how do i know..let’s just say i’ve met alot of different type of people. their traits and behaviour are quite similar. (depending the thickness of their skin)
if that guy’s condition is chronic one then u better take care of urself.. View all comments by tyc76
I think I can empathize with you. I got “stalked” before as well. Worse still, by a guy. @@ View all comments by Aristocrat
Men has no monopoly over stalking. There is no gender bias. There are woman stalkers too. View all comments by michael
Aristocrat: That sounds like a real sticky situation! When women are stalked, they can always turn to their male friends for help. But what happens when a guy gets stalked?
michael: Everyone knows that there are both male and female stalkers. We’re just talking about stalkers in general. View all comments by Veron
cool blog.. i stumble upon yrs and tot you did a well job done.
love the jewellery you did for yr mum.great idea.
hhmm.. mensa.. congrats gal.. will check that out. View all comments by marlinah
Nice website.
(How I stumbled upon your website. While I was googling up a topic on google. End up clickling one of the links which lead me to yours.)
- nice website layout.
- love the designs
- cute little images. lovely indeed.
- Frankly speaking abit light color over all … I hardly can read? I have to stare longer to read.
Cheers! take care.
Regards. View all comments by Jensen
have been coming round pretty often .. love the music..
in this nature.. ok.. lady not interested??
then wat about if she is?? but she’ve been all pensive about it?
not every gal is straight forward.. would love a gal like that.. but
then being human would be nice and try to tactful.. so.. honestly.. would it
not be simpler if women were just a little more honest??cos honestly.. learning how to read body language.. is like some tall square hat pple who looked at books and studied.. “psychology” kind??
so.. if a guy is to study all that.. gosh.. time would have flew right by…
or worse still wat if one day you like him back.. but dare not say it.. cos you blew him off before??
hahaha..
just hypothetic..but.. BIG BIG BUTS do happen in out lifes.. btw wat do you do for aliving..?? View all comments by myloh
Hilarious stuff, but yes I’ve been stalked enough and it’s pretty scary. I’ve had to leave shows because of it. So many guys only want you when you don’t want them. View all comments by wamylove
Ok my situaution is a little different then normal but here i go…..
There’s this one girl, lets call her O, who i knew liked me from the start when i went to my new school because of the way she looked at me. At first i wasn’t really attracted to her and didnt’ really want anything to do with her. But after a while her friends got me talking to her. From the way we spoke and interacted it was clear that she had feelings for me and after a while her best friend, lets call her A, even told me that she was really digging me but at the time i wasn’t sure if i liked her much i just use to treat her as a friend and joked around with her. Time went by and i finally started becoming attracted to her so i asked her out, by that time i guess she had spoken and asked about me with her other friend (not the one that told me that she liked me, different girl lets call this girl B.) and K told her that she liked me as well. these three girls, O,A,B are fairly good friends, O and A are more close together. So when i asked out O which was maybe 2 months after i started talking to her, she said she couldn’t go out with me, she would feel bad. then i told her that well dont you like me your friend told me so, and she said that she did and then B told her that she did too so she thought it wouldn’t work out, her words were “so i thought, fuck it won’t work out” so she said then after B told her it started to fade away. After this i notice that, that same magic wasnt’ present in our conversations, like it was there sometimes but not as much as before. so more time went by. and in between this time we becamae firends more then guy and girl who were attracted to each other. so after a while we spoke alone again and i felt that same majic and i asked her out again, she said the same thing like, i liked you then B told me……., but i cut her off and said if you like me before you can like me again and asked if i asked her friend if it were ok for us to go out would she and she said “ok but i just know she’ll say no” so then i was excited cause i knew that girl would say it was ok and then me and O wuld hook up. but when it came time to ask her i think O told her to say no maybe, but when i asked B she said that O maybe doesnt want to go out with anyone right now, so she said just wait and let her see what is going through O’s mind. and that was the last i spoke with O and B and A. O stopped talking to me and we haven’t spoke for the last 2 months or so. we see each other at school and make eye contact, some times i feel she is attracted and some times i don’t. Plus when i asked her the 2nd time i even told her to her face that, “i think you do like me, i know there’s an attraction between us” and she didn’t say anything negative in return, just smiled and shyed away.
NOW, my question is should i still think that she still has some feelings for me which can be sparked again and we could make it happen or should i move on? out of those 5 things she has shown some at some point, but this situation is different, she use to really like me and would want to talk to me so badly before and her best friend even told me she liked me alot. How can you like a guy so much and then just have it fade away 100% ? especially when i feel i see it still in her eyes sometimes when i make eye contact with her. by the way i haven’t really tried talking to her, she told my friend that she’ll talk to me only if i talk to her. the ironic part is that i never thought i would ever like her, she was the last person i would ask out, was what i thought when i first saw her. funny thing is that i thought her friend, B, was cute at first. View all comments by Kendrick
wow! This blog is becoming a place for people to spill their hearts! poor Veron, now you’ve become Aunt Agony by default :P
Okie, some tips to help the guys out there after reading Kendrick’s posting:
3 Tips For Keeping A Woman Attracted
The absolute most important prevention method is an understanding of female psychology and ATTRACTION.
1) Women are NEVER attracted to WUSSIES.
Women don’t feel ATTRACTION for weak men.
Sure, if you chase a woman for long enough, and buy her enough things, she may “fall” for you. But in that case it’s not because she feels ATTRACTION for you. OHHHHH NO. It’s because she feels AFFECTION for you, and she confuses it with ATTRACTION.
So if your Inner Wussy has been taking the wheel, EVICT IT! Bitch-slap the Wuss out of yourself. Do it now.
2) Don’t be PREDICTABLE.
Predictability is a mortal sin when it comes to attraction. If a woman can guess what you’re going to do or say, you’re being predictable. If she CAN’T guess what you’re going to do or say, she’ll always be wondering…
Now, keep in mind that women are MUCH better at predicting behavior than men. So if you’re going to stop being predictable, then you’re going to need to LEARN how.
To begin with, PAUSE before you do and say things. Think about what you’d normally do, then DO SOMETHING ELSE. Throw in some crazy, off-the-wall stuff for good measure.
Predictable is BAD BAD BAD for business.
3) Don’t be BORING.
Boring is the bastard child of Predictable.
When you are SO predictable that NOTHING is new or different, then you are officially BORING. Boring is also the lack of adventure, passion, energy, humor, and ATTRACTION.
If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION for you, then you must behave differently than if you want her to feel that “just friends” feeling.
In the world of ATTRACTION, things are completely different.
For instance, our moms taught all of us guys to “be nice” to women. This usually includes being sweet and complimentary when first meeting them, answering all of their questions directly, and giving them what they want when they want it.
But if you want a woman to feel that INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION right from the beginning, then you’re going to have to put aside this kind of thinking, and start learning some NEW ideas.
For instance:
1) A challenge is generally attractive to women.
2) Teasing and being evasive is generally attractive to women.
3) Making fun of a woman’s appearance in a flirty way, as counter-intuitive as it might sound, can lead to ATTRACTION.
Hope that helps!
~extracted from David DeAngelo. View all comments by Edmund
Thanks Edmund, that does help but in my case which is very unusual, what should i do? like i don’t think i have a problem attracting women, thats why i attraccted two girls who were friends at teh same time. View all comments by Kendrick
Thanks for the advice. But what would happen if it was vice-versa? Girl wants the boy. Or what happens when the girl likes the boy, and the boy likes the girl, but the boy won’t take the plate? Well, thanks anyway! View all comments by claire
claire
aiya, then girl takes the first step lor! :) Now 21st century liao leh! View all comments by jupilier
haha.. interesting comments. Its all about communication.
People seem to wonder and think about the “what if’s”… and continue to live their life hoping and thinking, and then end up regretting the things they did not do..
“its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all”
In business, there’s a very common phrase called ‘Analysis till paralysis’.
Cut down the analysis, take the plunge, don’t be afraid of failure and rejection and in the slogan of Nike.. “Just Do It” View all comments by Edmund
ey buddaaaayyy, wat de rass dem gyal talkin bout?? ain’t no gyal gonn come up to ME an tell me to me face reasons y she dunn like me! raaasss… me da wan rudebwai, me da keeng! raaass… View all comments by mbudday
Yea but what if she does all the top 4 things and still tells you that she really likes you and has feelings for you? View all comments by Nick
Then do the same 4 things to her and tell her the same! :) View all comments by jupilier
Well, I met a girl at my gym and we started chatting a lot at the gym and on the phone. We went out to dinner and things seemed great, then she stopped returning my calls and broke plans we had. I found out from her after a couple messages left from me and 3 days later when she did call me back that her x has started calling her again cause he wants her back ( hes a alcoholic mess).During this mess she had decided to leave the gym for another gym, She says she needs a life change but i know theres a guy she had a fling with in there now, he just joined. Well she says she doesnt care about anyone there or what they say. This girl used to party all the time like me but she has stopped that life style for atleast for sure the last 5 months, bye the way im 6 years sober, i was a drunk, lol. She tells me shes not going back with him x but the guys mom calls her and stuff and he keeps coming around to get all his stuf from her house, ( she still lives at home). I confronted her 2 days ago, i went to her house. Long story short, to late, lol. I asked a million questions and heres what i got. she hasnt been talking to anybody including best friends, shes says shes not going back with him . She told me she DOESNT ! want me to ” leave her alone or stop calling her” Just so you guys know i dont call everyday or stalker stuff, just normal calling maybe 2 times a week , in fact she was calling me more when this started! She says shes gotta figure it out for herself even though i offered help. Now she knows I like her cause When this first started I thought we were starting to date, she says she thought it was just a friend thing but she knows for sure i want to date her, she says shes not dating anybody its not me, ok fine i think maybe she needs time to get her head strait, i understand that but im wondering if shes interested or not for future dating ? hopfully not to long. If she is not attracted to me at all then wouldnt she tell me now, i mean she knows i want her? We have a lot in common, a lot but i dont know if she sees what i see. I just keep focusing on the fact she told me she DOESNT want me to stop calling etc. As of the other day i told her “well im gonna leave you alone for a while so you can mabye get things strait in your head, i really like this one and im willing to be patient, i figure id wait a week and a half til i call her, if she doesnt call me in the mean time. I dont know what to do, i dont wanna wait for her to get her stuff together more than a month cause she been broken up with the x loser since february of 07. By the way, she has been on and off with this screw since high school. Please anyone, especially the women, please let me hear your thoughts, let her rip ladies !! Just so everyone out there knows, when i was face to face talking to her i asked her and told her over and over, if you want me to leave you alone and stay away i will, it wont hurt my feeling, over and over i gave her a chance to get rid of me, very nicely and adult like to …..so????? HELP !! View all comments by clark griswald