Why Do Indian Women Get Married?
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I met up with a friend from India recently. Indian men are good drinkers, I’d say. I had three pints of beer while he downed four easily like mineral water. Then, one of his Indian friends came along and sucked down a pint in ten seconds. The beer was good. Neither one of us suffered a hangover the following day. Beer, goooood. Much as I would like it to be, this entry isn’t about beer. This friend from India (interestingly he is not of the Indian race) is easily one of the most colourful characters among the people I know. Through our conversation, I got to know some really intriguing things about India. Their dowry system, in particular. The conversation we had went something like this: Friend: so in India, we have the dowry system. Me: yeah I know that one. The bride’s family has to give a large sum of money to the groom’s family right? Friend: right. It is strange because not only does the bride’s family “lose” a daughter, they lose a large chunk of their wealth at the same time. Me: how much would the dowry be usually? Friend: well, it depends on the status of [...]
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Apr 27, 2008
1
hi everybody
The girl will get her share of property during marriage, its not dowry , its only her share, i believe she had the right for parents property same as her brother.so she must get it.,but it is a shame &crime to ask dowry from grooms side.
May 9, 2008
1
hi iam so glad to see about that. i can not tell you more that.
Jun 26, 2008
1
I am an indian woman. WHen my sister got married, my parents had to sell their jewelry and the car, van they owned and the little house….why? Ofcourse, for a dowry. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to get married. Regardless of who she is going to get married to, my parents should have the money and gold jewelries ready as a dowry. Otherwise, no man will marry her. After my family lost our house, car, van, my parents jewelry, and some loan for a dowry to my sister’s husband family, she still wasn’t treated properly after her marriage. Her husband beats her up. He cheated on her couple of times. Her mother in law didnt treat her right. My family is still trying to pay off the loan that we borrowed for my sister’s dowry.
I told my father that i do not want to get married. Instead, give me all the dowry money that you are going to give it to my husband, so , that i can use that dowry money to pay for my education so i will be better off by supporting myself. WHy would i want to give someone dowry and still get beat up by him and get cheated by him? Iam indian woman. Just because my society wants things in a certain way, doesn’t mean i have to put myself through this. If my society doesn’t appreciate and respect women , why the fuck would i want to be in India. I got a offer to continue my studies here in the USA and I am taking student loan for further studies so i can suupport myself and marry someone who doesnt want dowry in america. I swear to god i would never go back to india until i get kicked out of america. I love this country because people here respect women and they have more support for women. This is where i want to be. IN my next life time, I want to be born in America and definitely not in india. I started my prayer for it since the day my paernts started selling their stuff for my sisters marriage. I hate india and indian men.
Jun 26, 2008
2
hi kalia, you have made a correct decision. I dont understand why people still do this kind of things. for my bf his family didnt take any money from the sis in law. they want nothing from her. therefore it depends on the family. and for chinese it is the guy who give the dowry not the woman’s family. and selling all the items just to give to the man this is really ridiculous. Good that you have a chance to be in usa. good luck with everything you do.
Mar 12, 2010
1
The other day, I was talking to a guy from China. We started talking about Singapore and although he was not from Singapore, we thought it was fine because Chinese and Singaporeans are basically the same. We started talking about Kung Fu. The conversation basically went like this:
Friend: In Singapore, we all know Kung Fu.
Me: Yes, we know that one. But tell me, in a modern society with government and police, do we really need to train people in martial arts
He had no answer. Am I being too practical here? Why do the Singaporeans always learn Kung Fu?
Mar 12, 2010
3470
Firstly, why would he say “In Singapore, ‘we’ all know Kung Fu” when he’s from China?
Secondly, I don’t know where he got that idea. In all my life of living here in Singapore, I have yet to come across anyone that knows Kung Fu (save for the ones that appear on TV).
Sep 8, 2010
1
Way to go Kalia — I hope you never have to come back to India. Life is only comfortable for women in India provided that you accept your inferior second-class status, accept that an Indian woman can never truly control her own destiny and are somehow able to be at peace with this unsettling state of affairs. Gender equality is incomprehensible to most Indans, women included; so if you’re that uncomfortable with patriarchal Indian culture it is better to shun India and Indians. Female inferiority is deeply entrenched in India’s marriage and family customs (barring some states in the north-east), so its an uphill battle for any woman who does not believe that she was born to serve and defer to men. All the best with you life!
Oct 16, 2010
1
Hey Veron , see firstly , lack of education is what is the root of all these problems . I have seen nasty women of rural INdia just having physical relations with their brother in law , even father in law etc. etc. , and seriously , they thing its urban ” culture” to have extra marital affairs . They are not educated , they just think itsa ”trend” , so basically my point is , if you are not well , actually very well educated , then your mind is not open and then you are not capable of making good choices , on the other hand if you are well educated and have a job , i.e , u r financially independent , then you have a head to make right decisions , so basically , parents whowed off their daughters are eithger not educated and not rich , are rich but not educated or their girls ar enot financially independent . my parents always say , become independent and do what u wanna do , and this is it , they want me to be in power and position so that tommorrow i can chose right man for myself and not be harrassed by my in laws . by the way , i am just 15 right now , n but mentally very sound , and the verdict is – get an education that opens your mind and become financially independent to make right choices , if u have money in hand and brain in skull , no damn family can stop u to do what u desire .
Sep 30, 2011
2
I would just like to say that the dowry system is not only illegal in India but also not as likely amongst the more educated and wealthy. It is still in practice, yes, but more amongst their lower social-strata. As for it’s existence, I do not know. It is a terrible terrible system and im very strongly against it.
On the topic of love marriage, it is more common nowadays. Arranged marriages are more common in the southern states of india but amongst the wealthier and more educated, it is more of a large dating system than a forced marriage. You are introduced to boys and stuff but at the end of the day, the girl and the boy do have a choice. Forced marriage is not as common anymore.
– An Indian Girl.